Out in the weeds, behind the Appalachian Conference Center, the kitchen’s skeleton crew had just unmasked bewitched remains…
Finishing their short break on this steamy Halloween night, they suddenly realized that something horrific had once transpired here.
Was this the final resting spot of the infamous Analog Squad? The vine-covered headstones belonging to the Squad confirmed the crew’s worst nightmares: Bart “The Slicer”, Jack Ard “The Tenderizer”, Scott “The Iceman” and a whole menu of others were all 86’d behind the back of the house for failing to meet the performance specs of their underboss, Sue “The Chef”.
As they pondered this monstrous discovery, a lightning bolt struck, thunder clapped, lights glowed orange and then dimmed, and all the kitchen timers inside beeped ominously. In fright, the crew ran screaming back to their stations only to witness their spider-strainers, salamanders and the rest of the kitchen stirring to life.
The stockpots were now full of Ghouls instead of goulash, the combi turned zombie, and the coffee equipment was boiling up a witch’s brew. Out in the Gravy-Yard, the Analog Squad’s tough guys were stirring with leftover rancor boiling over, and thirsty for a crooked vs cooked vengeance match.
The squad reached-in to the kitchen, putting the skeleton crew on ice and then stuffing them into the walk-in. It was then time to fire the main entrée. Was this new kitchen line up to the scary challenge of taking on a gang of former tough guys, whose memories haunted them, and who were eager to reinstate their dominance? The clash clearly was now between the obsolete Analog Squad and the modern kitchen’s newly formed Ghost Kitchen Gang.
Leading the charge for the Gang was the electrifying little-fryer-that-could (a perfect fry for the task), who rallied the front line. The Gang’s Crown was steamed, and therefore forged a market alliance with the ranges, pressing them into service (as rangers). Clearly, battle lines were drawn, and a wicked showdown was brewing.
Casters rolled, blades were drawn, and it seemed that our new kitchen might be on the chopping block. The fight was a real pressure-cooker with the Analogs drawing first blood. The Ghost Kitchen Gang vented their frustrations by blowing out the Squad’s pilot lights, thus eliminating their fire power.
The Squad responded by trying to sever communications between the Ghost Gang’s members but couldn’t because the Gang was all IOT networked (on a very OK platform).
The Analog Squad had served their maximum term and tried as they might, could not spook the Ghost Kitchen Gang nor pirate their devilishly good features & benefits and scary-good warranties.
When the clock struck midnight, the smoke settled, and all the knives went back into their blocks. It was clear that the Analog Squad was once again off-the-menu and the new equipment of the Ghost Kitchen Gang had maintained their enchantment.
The squad didn’t have a ghost of a chance against the ventless, labor-saving, digitally programmable, IOT-enabled, energy efficient, rugged appliances of the Ghost Kitchen Gang.
